Life Tip Tuesday

My husband proposed to me on Christmas Day. I was not expecting it at all, because he hinted that he got my gift before he knew my ring size. I would have to say that’s been the best Christmas so far. I said “yes” of course. We planned our wedding in between other family events. Since we wanted to keep it small and intimate with just the people we really wanted there, we did our best to choose a date where the most people could come.

The wedding was beautiful. There were a few hiccups, as there always seem to be, but nothing major. I’m so glad we kept it small because it allowed us to truly enjoy it and focus on why we were there. We were proclaiming our love and committing to always be there for each other; everyone else was there to celebrate with us. It was never meant to be a spectacle or a place to “show off”.

One thing that was very important to us was the vows we said to each other. We viewed it as a solemn promise, but it wasn’t something we were afraid to do. It was an expression of what we already felt and were choosing to do, a confirmation of it. We chose to say the traditional vows because it expressed our commitment in a very straightforward and simple way. We could have come up with our own vows, but I think we would have ended up with a similar but less elegant vow (with some crying on my part).

An old acquaintance of mine said something that has stuck with me. She said it was great that we said traditional vows to each other, but she could never say that to her then-fiance: “in sickness… for poorer? No, I don’t want to do that.” It struck me how shallow that seemed to me. Can you truly love someone if you can’t promise to support them through the toughest parts of life? No one wants to deal with the “for sicker… for poorer” part of vows or life, but at some point, we will experience those, married or not. Isn’t it better to go through that with someone? I hope my husband never has a serious injury or illness where I have to take care him for an extended period of time, but I’m completely willing to do that because I don’t want him to suffer alone when I know I could make it easier for him.

After the wedding, we had our honeymoon. It was probably the most relaxing, fun week of my life. I think even if you share a living space before getting married, it’s important to get away from it all and just spend time bonding together. It sparked excitement about our future together, where we want to live, what pets we want to have.

So far, married life is good. There’s been stress of course, but that always seems to come from sources outside of our relationship. Having each other to lean on and be a refuge from the sometimes harsh world is inexplicably comforting.

Takeaways for Today:

• Weddings are special, but focus on enjoying it instead of trying to make it perfect

• Marriage is more than a wedding; the wedding is just the beginning of a new chapter

• Don’t stop nurturing your relationship when you get married

• If you cannot make meaningful vows to each other (traditional or not), be honest with yourself and whether you are ready for marriage