Life Tip Tuesday

Early on in our relationship, we decided to be honest with each other. We had both seen the consequences of less than ideal relationships, and did not want to end up the same way.

My husband asked me shortly after we started dating to tell him right away if anything was bothering me (particularly anything he did or said). He had seen the negative effects up close and personal when one spouse hid their hurt and let it fester. I agreed and have never regretted it.

Both because of that and what I learned from the Boundaries book, I made it a priority to be honest with both of us. Regardless of how uncomfortable it made me or how awkward it felt, I went out of my way to talk about my feelings and tell him when I felt hurt by something he said or did. It was really hard at first. It was scary.

But each time, it got a little easier and we became closer because of it. We’ve hurt each others’ feelings, but we’ve never really fought or argued like most couples do, which I credit to our open communication.

There was also never the expectation of reading each other’s minds. My husband made it clear that men in general tend to be upfront and expect the same. Likewise, I am not a particularly observant person, so I don’t know if I would catch any signals he would use. With neither of us wanting to perform the dance of trying to figure out the other’s desires, we agreed to just talk to each other. Perhaps this took away a little of the romance, but for a peaceful relationship where we both feel totally safe and devoted to each other, I think it’s well worth the trade.

Takeaways for Today:

• Communication is essential

• Be honest with each other

• Don’t make assumptions

• Romance is fun, but not all romantic things are worth the hype

• True love takes effort to cultivate by stepping out of your comfort zone