Life Tip Tuesday

For me, falling in love was a gradual thing. I enjoyed hanging out with the friend group and got to know my future husband as a good guy that, at the very least could be trusted to respect others and lend a helping hand when needed. Slowly, I began to anticipate his presence at our group hangouts. I began to look forward to seeing him and appreciated hearing his jokes.

For a few months, I was confused. I had crushes in high school like most girls, but they’d never felt like this. I didn’t really have any guy friends either, so I thought, perhaps this was just a friendship-type affection. Yet I felt nervous seeing him and disappointed if he wasn’t there at the same time.

I was going to therapy at the time for my anxiety, but still very early in my progress, this confusion also added to my worry. When he began working for me at my home business, things changed. The first day he came for training, he had just gotten a new haircut, and I was caught off-guard by how handsome he looked. It took about 2 weeks before I realized, “Yep, I do actually really like this guy.”

He knew about my anxiety and brought me new things to try to help soothe my stomach, like kombucha and ginger chews. We began hanging out after work and talking during work. We both said things here and there that weren’t very platonic, but neither of us were certain the other felt the same way. I was afraid to say anything since we already had a work and friendship relationship. After all, if he didn’t feel the same way, I could very well lose a good employee too.

Finally, after asking some role models I respected (who had good, healthy marriages) for their advice, I decided he was worth the risk to take the first step and ask him on a date. Unfortunately, I lost my nerve at the last second and just asked him to come over for dinner and a movie instead (it doesn’t just happen in movies). The day after our unofficial date, I was so worked up about it, I just had to tell him, even if it wasn’t in a romantic or smooth way.

I confessed my feelings for him and he said he felt the same way, he just didn’t want to make the first move because he was afraid of taking advantage of me and my lack of experience. Things were a little awkward as we moved from being friends to boyfriend and girlfriend, but it was a good kind of awkward. We already had a level of mutual trust and general knowledge of each other’s character that made dating all the more fun. There wasn’t pressure to impress each other, just to enjoy what this new relationship meant together.

Takeaways for Today:

• A good friend can sometimes make a great partner

• Don’t feel rushed to start a dating relationship or feel like your relationship needs to look like everyone else’s

• It’s ok to be awkward, not everything needs to be so serious

• If a romantic relationship starts out as a friendship, it provides a level of authenticity and trust that takes way more time to get to otherwise

• Not every friend will be potential marriage material, but if they aren’t, you still made a friend